Somewhat My Heart
In the place of our love,
You filled in with hurt,
Colored unimaginable ,
Unfulfilled first,
And I wasn't enough,
And I knew that so much
I tried so hard to make it all work
But you went away worrying and wasted,
Wasting my time
With all those lies,
You always despised, delicate, forgetting the worth
Is it a shame
That the one not to blame
Is the one missing the one
That was there only in name
I made mistakes,
But everything I gave,
You would find some way to take
For granted and never grant me
Anything but nothingness,
An unpainted pain until the day that it came
That you left me so alone and so, you walked away
The door that slammed in my face
Left an imprint on all of me to date
And I just can't wait until it will wash away
And leave something sweet in place of the taste
Of bitterness of soul,
Of emptiness so whole,
Shattered but put back together by
The only semblance of simplicity,
Which is always my hate
Though I know I don't
Really feel that way
I never forgot you, and I would have caught you
If you would have let me know that you were falling...
Away
You moved on so easily
Like I was only a filler of time
But all that you would ever be to me
Was more than you minded, what I wanted,
Mine, all mine
And I can't rewind,
But I can't go forward
I don't want anyone...
Like I wanted you
I don't need a thing
That won't need me back
And maybe just lie
And tell me that I
Am everything and anything
When I am nothing and emptying
All of my heart... and falling apart,
And giving into misery, missing any bit of memory
Of something better than
Both of us divided, than all of us untied
Meant to be together, but that was just some lie
Twisted, unfailing, but really failing
Because we believed that we could somehow be
Unified, united, so very delighted... in a kind of wonderful
When it was denied
The only person that I've ever been
Has been a lingerer, a longer,
But never strong enough to begin
To let go of so much of you,
Knowing that my only
Happiness, too
Was wrapped up in wrong
And stolen by the words of a woman
So selfish, untrue,
Melodic, apathetic,
Angelic, and new,
Turned into torment, burned by the bliss,
Beleaguered by all of the bullshit I no longer miss
But I do sometimes still miss you
I do once in a while wish that I didn't lose
The unbridled, never requiting, uncaring one
Who gave me these scars
For some kind of fun
And then took her heart back
Like it was never for me,
A joke that she played because we couldn't be
The things that we stated,
You loved not, only hated
To try them with me
And now that you've been gone for so long,
I wish you well and hope that he
Can make you as happy
As I tried to bring
You up from your silent, unspoken, broken hole
I didn't have strength, and you would not go,
But for someone other than
This man that I am,
You'll give your all
I will leave it alone
I will probably keep missing you
Oddly, keep wishing you
Weren't the way I know that you are
Partly pathetic, and somewhat my heart
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